


like the sweetener you are (to bring the bitter taste to a halt)

by lalalalisa_m



Category: BLACKPINK (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Eventual Romance, F/F, Fluff, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-14
Updated: 2019-08-04
Packaged: 2020-06-28 01:33:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19802014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lalalalisa_m/pseuds/lalalalisa_m
Summary: Lisa works the night shift at a struggling ice cream shop. South Korea's most precious idol, Jennie Kim, is tired and just wants some ice cream.





	1. who spends more than an hour eating a single scoop of ice cream?

**Author's Note:**

> title is from sweetener by ariana grande :)

Lisa is alone, running the empty night shift as she always does.

_Video of Cat Swimming Goes Viral_

_13-year-old Boy Rushed to Hospital After Clogging Airways with Kimchi_

_Want to Get Away? Here are the Top 10 Tourist Destinations in Asia_

Slow news day.

Usually, Lisa would see headlines about the most loved celebrities. For one, _Jennie Kim,_ South Korea’s most precious, whether it may be another upcoming hit album or a worldwide arena tour. She’s not into show business and media in general so the most she’s ever done is skim through articles.

Lisa’s boredom has peaked. She tries to avoid checking her phone while on the job, although she doesn’t ever have to. The shop isn’t exactly always filled. It’s easy for her to run everything during graveyard hours because _no one ever comes_. The same could be said for the day shift, with 15 customers over 12 hours being considered a success. More would be great, but the shop has gotten weaker and weaker over the years. She loves the shop with all her heart, but she isn’t certain as to how long they’ll be able to afford keeping up with the losing act. 

It’s 1 AM and Lisa’s yawn is interrupted by a customer entering. The short girl is wearing black on black on black, with just her eyes and some parts of her skin visible as she sports an over-sized hoodie, sweatpants, a beanie and a dust mask. 

The girl obviously did not want to be recognized, leading Lisa to almost think that this was a robbery. Except that the bulging Gucci logo displayed on her chest signals that her whole outfit probably costs more than an entire month’s rent of this place. 

“One scoop of milk ice cream, please. No cone. Just cup.” 

Faint voice from a faint figure, as expected. 

The short girl hands exactly $2.00, matching the exact price of the order. _Somebody did her research on us._

Lisa glances at the short girl’s eyes. Alluring as they may be, the catlike eyes were traced with exhaustion. 

Lisa lines her response with cheer. “Coming right up!”

Lisa hands the order to the short girl and doesn’t expect her to stay. 

She is caught by surprise when the petite figure then sits at one of the tables, munching at the sweet treat quietly.

Lisa hangs out by her usual register spot, but cranes her neck a little to examine the short girl’s mannerisms. 

_What if the ice cream tastes like shit? Oh, God. I’m pretty sure I made a fresh batch just hours ago. Wait. Did I?_

Lisa could barely see anything. The plain black back of the girl’s hoodie isn’t considered an informative view by her books.

_Maybe if I turned up the temperature it would get too hot and she’d be forced to take off her beanie and hoodie and-- No, Lisa, you’re stupid. Stop it._

It didn’t help that the lights were dim. Any more movement and the silent customer would definitely notice, and possibly assume, that the cashier was _checking her out_. Lisa slumps in defeat. 

Tugging at the ends of her apron, Lisa thinks of possible icebreakers. She _badly_ wants to start a conversation to kill the awkward atmosphere, but her words hang dry. She sighs and spins a loose thread around her finger. 

The girl does nothing but keep to herself. If Lisa had to guess, she’d think that the girl came here for peace and quiet. Lisa leaves her alone, afraid of disturbing, but keeps a close eye on her anyway.

It’s 2:11 AM when the wrapped lady grabs her empty cup and walks out the door, making it a point to dispose of the cup properly by the trashcan near the door, a gesture that Lisa appreciates.

With the girl out of sight, Lisa lets out a chuckle.

_Who spends more than an hour eating a single scoop of ice cream?_

Lisa makes a mental note to ask the girl that question the next time she comes by. The thought doesn’t live long as she shuns the question almost immediately afterwards.

_This is probably just a one night thing anyway_. 

Lisa watches the clock tick by until the sun rises.

* * *

It isn’t a one night thing.

It’s 1:32 AM when Lisa’s head immediately shoots up as she hears the sound of the hanging door bells. 

The same girl from more than 24 hours ago enters with the same outfit, except the huge logo etched on her hoodie was now Balenciaga.

“One scoop of milk ice cream, please. No cone. Just cup.” 

Lisa picks up the two dollar bills from the counter and opens her mouth without thinking.

“So, you like milk ice cream, huh?”

The atmosphere drops to an unbearable level of silence, begging for crickets to take over. Lisa absorbs how stupid her question sounded and vows to punish herself later.

“Sorr-” Lisa is interrupted quickly by the feeble voice.

“Yeah, I do.” 

Her voice is soft and almost a whimper, one that Lisa didn’t notice just from the girl ordering a few moments prior. Lisa doesn’t want to assume, but it sounded like the short girl was trying to suppress amusement. The thought comforts her. 

The cup of ice cream is handed and the girl whispers her thanks, which Lisa takes as permission to initiate a conversation--something, anything. 

“Have you been here before?” Lisa says. “I mean, aside from yesterday--or yesternight--however you’d like to call it.” 

The girl walks to a nearby table and sits. She neither faces Lisa nor resists the attempt at a chat, much to Lisa’s relief. “No, actually. Yesterday, or yesternight, was my first time.”

Lisa would like to sit with her, but that might be intruding. She decides against it and stays by her comfort zone. “Oh. How’d you hear of us?”

“I just needed some ice cream.” The short girl paused. “Does that sound childish? Yeah, it does. But, yeah, I googled ice cream places and this… this came up. Not very much places are open past 10 PM, much less midnight, so I guess I got lucky with you.”

A charmed smile blooms across Lisa’s face, and she’s so glad the girl cannot see just how happy and flustered the casual declaration made her.

Nowhere in the girl’s response did she ask for an elaboration, but Lisa gives one anyway. “Yeah. Well, the 24/7 thing just kinda stuck, you know? My grandpa said there might be people out there that will just need ice cream at 2 or 3 or 4 AM, and it’s our job to stay open and welcome them.”

“Your grandpa must’ve had a time machine then. He probably knew a miserable person would walk in here someday relying on milk ice cream to somehow keep her life together.” The short girl mumbles, barely audible. Lisa is grateful that her hearing is at its sharpest.

Lisa doesn’t know how to respond; she’s always been bad at small talk. She racks up her brain for a sensible reply or a change of topic but is stopped when the short girl stands up from her chair.

The dainty frame digs something from her pocket and approaches Lisa.

The short girl hands a 5 dollar bill as a tip.

“Thank you for keeping me company.” Lisa feels the girl’s eyes scan her and eventually stop at the name tag hanging by her chest. Lisa’s chest tightens. “Lisa.”

Lisa blushes, praying that the dim lights are enough to keep it from being noticeable. She refuses the generous offering. “No, no, you don’t have to do that. I enjoyed it as much as you did, maybe even more.”

“If I told you that I insist, would you take it?” 

“No.” Lisa beams.

“I thought so.”

The sulking in the girl’s voice made Lisa’s heart ache. She could tell that the girl was pouting beneath the mask solely based on the softening of her otherwise striking eyes. 

Like instinct, they both turn to glimpse at the clock on the wall. 

2:04 AM.

Neither of them know how to continue. They both internally blame it on the wee hours.

“I’ve overstayed my welcome, hm? I should get going now.” The girl hesitantly clears her throat. “Thank you, really.”

Lisa is a stuttering mess as she fiddles with her fingers. She doesn't want this to end, but it still does. “No, of course not. You didn't, you don't have to-- you’re welcome here anytime.” 

The dainty girl nods slightly and walks towards the door, noticeably slowly this time. 

Lisa snaps out of her daze and finally, finally remembers the question she’s been meaning to ask.

Lisa leans over the counter to yell. “Wait!”

“Will you be back?” Lisa cries a little too hopelessly.

The girl halts with her hand on the door handle.

“We’ll see.” 

_Wait, that's not the question._ _Shit._ I _forgot to ask for her name._ Lisa pinches herself as a penalty and calls herself pathetic when she pulls out a sticky note and writes down: _ask for her name_. 

* * *

_Third time’s the charm._

The third time the girl comes into the shop, Lisa is sick. 

Her condition is mild enough to assure that she won’t be coughing or puking all over their ice cream, but she wears a mask just in case. Besides, she didn’t want her shift to be covered by anybody else. She’d be lying if she said she wasn’t anticipating her new friend’s arrival. 

Lisa is aware of how selfish she sounds when she admits that she didn’t want others enjoying the girl’s company the way she did.

It's late, 1:49 AM, and Lisa's hopelessness grows. To wait for a stranger is such a foolish act. Yet refuses to throw in the white flag.

Lisa is sitting behind the counter, resting her heavy head upon her crossed arms, when the girl barges in in a less than prudent manner.

_Oh._ She definitely looks different today. The girl isn’t wearing the usual beanie with the mask that covered half her face. 

Lisa sees the entirety of the girl’s face and is immediately disarmed. She is nothing short of stunned as her mouth is left agape, wondering how she ever survived being unable to gaze at the lovely face.

The moment seems to last forever until a realization surfaces.

_I know that face._

“Sorry, I’ve got no cash today. Here.” The girl pants and hands her the small card, accompanied by the most sheepish, apologetic smile Lisa has ever laid eyes on. 

The letters engraved spell _JENNIE KIM._

Lisa isn’t able to suppress the twitching of her lips as she scans the face of the customer in front of her.

“You’re Jennie Kim?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry, this is my first time writing a fic and posting it here! i've been thinking about this and, although i am scared, i just needed to get this out. criticisms/tips/suggestions are always welcome and appreciated!!!! 
> 
> also, don’t know how long this will be but i can safely say at least 6 parts


	2. you wouldn’t want to lose your best customer, would you?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I already shouldn’t be eating ice cream on the daily anyway, much less staying up until 4 AM unless necessary.”
> 
> “Yet here you are.”
> 
> “Yet here I am!”

The girl, with her chestnut brown hair, tilts her head with hilarity as she watches a perplexed Lisa. Her puffy bags become extra visible and her nose wrinkles and scrunches as she flashes her signature gummy smile, one that the media and their flashing cameras at every event she attends absolutely adore, to a fazed audience of one. Lisa notices how Jennie’s twinkling right eye got slightly smaller than her left one when she grinned, and is all the more enchanted.

“Yes, I am Jennie Kim.”

Lisa snaps out of her trance and attempts to cater to the star like she was any ordinary customer. She fails because Jennie isn’t just any ordinary customer, and jumbles her words every time she tries to articulate her thoughts. 

The regular notices the whirlwind mess that is Lisa in front of her and apologizes. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to stress you out.”

Lisa rubs the heel of her palms against her eyes and rubs a bit just to make sure she isn’t hallucinating.

Yep, Jennie Kim is still there.

Four throat clearings later and Lisa finally utters out something sensible. “Okay. Okay. This is really happening. Hi. Wow. Hi.”

“Hello.” Jennie, clearly amused, doesn’t hold back her giggles.

“I’m really, really sorry. Okay. Here goes. Miss Jennie, what can I get you?”

Jennie rolls her eyes playfully. “Please don’t do that. I deal with enough formal bullshit in my life. It hasn’t been long, but I know you’re different.”

“Okay, Miss Je-- No. Jennie... Is that okay? Jennie?”

Lisa is rewarded with a tender nod. “Jennie. And… wait.” Jennie raises her brows and leans forward, nearing Lisa’s face. The tall girl thinks back and desperately tries to remember if she did something wrong just now. She doesn’t recall anything but she swears that her life flashed before her eyes. “You’re wearing a mask?”

“Oh, that. Yeah, I--”

“I’m sorry if you wanted to match with me.” Jennie throws a flippant smirk and Lisa’s knees become gelatin. “I forgot to wear mine today in a hurry.”

“No, it’s okay.” Lisa blinks twice. “No! I mean, no, it’s not that. It’s… I’m not really feeling well today.” 

Jennie’s shimmering demeanor is flushed away as a look of concern takes over. “Oh. Are you okay? Shit. Maybe this isn’t a good time. Maybe I should go.”

“No. No, please, no. It’s okay.” Lisa promises herself she won’t say the word _no_ for a week after this. “It’s actually you who I should be worried about. You might catch what I have.”

“Maybe I should. Maybe if I got sick they’d actually give me a break.” Jennie thinks she’s _hilarious_ and Lisa doesn’t agree, but she still laughs. 

Lisa whips up the usual one scoop of milk ice cream and stands frozen once she hands it. Jennie stares and stares and _stares_ at her, until Lisa understands the memo that Jennie is trying to invite her to sit down. And, maybe, talk.

Jennie’s laughter takes over the night. Jennie is a talker, and a mesmerizing one at that. She talks with so much enthusiasm at a million words a minute that Lisa imagines Jennie getting shushed often. (Lisa would never shush her though. If anything, the flow of words from Jennie’s mouth nearly form a melody in her ears). 

For the past 5 nights, the star has been having trouble falling asleep. She refused to label herself an insomniac, because she proclaimed it pathetic to rely on merely 4 days and a WebMD diagnosis all while invalidating the actual insomniacs out there. Besides, she seems sure that anyone that handled as busy a life as she did would probably struggle with sleeping as well. Jennie explains the recent late night wandering to Lisa, and pins the blame on the recently concluded 2-month long world tour. “Jet lag is such a bitch.” Lisa, only having boarded a plane from Thailand a decade ago, nods as if she understands even when she doesn’t. By the 3rd night, she was craving ice cream desperately, and the rest is history.

Lisa’s heart skips a beat when Jennie indirectly confirms that she has enjoyed the 2 short, quiet nights they’ve shared together. More details are divulged by a less than secretive Jennie, and Lisa finds out that Jennie set an alarm to get here. “I was getting really sleepy at around 8 pm or so but I’ve been looking forward to this--the milk ice cream--all day. This is going to sound ridiculous but, I was comfortable with you. I wanted to think that you were waiting for me too? And I didn’t want to leave you hanging so,” Jennie breathes deeply like this was an agency interview from 10 years ago, “I set an alarm, clicked snooze two times too many, grabbed my keys, and now I'm in front of you. God, I'm not even wearing any makeup!”

Lisa’s lips stretch from ear to ear and she is certain that she looks goofy while Jennie deems it the most pleasant sight she’s seen in years, and she's seen a lot.

* * *

A routine is formed. Jennie arrives at around 1 to 2 AM, with the latest record being set at 2:23 AM, not that Lisa was ever taking note. The singer keeps handing her the card, but Lisa stops swiping it by the 2nd week. She makes sure her regular wouldn’t notice as she doesn’t really want a fight over frozen cream, or a fight over anything at all.

They develop an imminent bond in a few weeks. They sit at the corner table for a couple of hours. They exchange random matters, Jennie with her media rants and Lisa’s very, very few interesting tales that happen during her shift. (Jennie is the most interesting _thing_ that has ever happened to Lisa during the graveyard shift. Or in her life, ever, for that matter). Sometimes the incoming daylight catches them, reminding them that their little playmate time was over. It’s so, so bad for business, but Lisa is more than grateful that the shop is always empty.

Jennie was particularly energetic one night and leans against the counter to talk to Lisa as she was scooping. “Lisa, ask me any question you want.”

Lisa gives in and speaks of the first topic that comes to mind. “You are _t_ _he_ most famous celebrity of our generation. So… you’ve got stalkers?”

“Good question. Good question.” Jennie ponders for a short while. “Yeah, I do. 10 years in the industry have trained me to spot them though, so I’ve gotten pretty good at avoiding them.”

“What about… the one that starts with a D…” The Thai girl presses her lids together, looks up, and tries to remember. “Dis… discharge?”

“Dispatch.”

“Yeah, that one, totally meant to say that.” It’s an awful save, but Lisa settles with it.

“They suck. Absolute assholes. None of the artists can do much about them. Lucky for me they set their attention more on the likes of Kim Taehyung.”

The name sounds familiar to Lisa, but not relevant enough to be noted. She’s too focused on the one in front of her.

“Don’t worry. I’m pretty sure no one followed me here.” Jennie sneers. “But, I mean, if you have controversial plans in mind I’d recommend shutting the blinds off completely first.”

Beads of sweat form on the Thai girl’s forehead. _Did the A/C just break?_ She plays it cool so the other doesn’t notice.

Hoping to chase the hot feeling away, Lisa walks to the freezing dipping cabinet. “Second question. Second scoop? It’s on the house.”

“Why are you doing this to me?” Jennie broods. “I can’t. I would love to, but I can’t. I already shouldn’t be eating ice cream on the daily anyway, much less staying up until 4 AM unless necessary.”

“Yet here you are.”

“Yet here I am!” Jennie sets her elbows on the counter and cups her hands, looking up at Lisa.

_You’re cute._ The Thai refuses to say it out loud.

Jennie flips her hair in mockery. “Thanks. I get that a lot.”

_Way to go, Lisa._

She tries to steer the conversation into a serious route again. “Why?” It’s a genuine question for Lisa. It’s not like eating a less-than-healthy treat or losing sleep was beneficial for _the_ Jennie Kim, especially for a person of her status.

“I don’t know. Your ice cream is just that addicting?” Lisa rolls her eyes and Jennie mindlessly reaches to _boop_ the taller girl’s nose. “But, seriously, some rules are just worth breaking, you know? Besides, you wouldn’t want to lose your best customer, would you?”

Lisa registers an answer without even trying. “Not in a million years.”

* * *

The blinds are completely shut off tonight. The bells hanging by the door shake rapidly and Lisa lifts her head up swiftly.

“Hey, Jen? It’s barely 12 AM.” The shopkeeper’s greeting is riddled with confusion.

“Hi.” The petite star paces towards the counter and stops to face Lisa. “Can’t a girl be early?” 

Lisa laughs and strides to the ice cream cabinet to prepare the usual order.

“No, Li, sorry, no ice cream tonight. I can’t stay for long.”

The shopkeeper frowns in concern.

“Yeah. I’m really, really sorry. I’ve got a flight to catch in a couple of hours.”

“What? To where?” She’s neglected to acknowledge it for the past few nights, but it clicks again for Lisa that her _friend_ is one of the busiest people in the nation. 

“Indonesia, to kick off a fansign tour around Asia. It’ll last 2 weeks.”

“2 weeks?” Lisa can’t help it; the dismay in her voice is more than evident.

Jennie’s shoulders droop more than they should. “I’m really sorry.”

Lisa looks down on her feet for a second then shakes her head. “Why are you apologizing? It’s okay, Jen. It’s your job. You didn’t even have to come here and explain.”

“I’ve got a number of hobbies and ghosting really isn’t one of them.” Jennie hums. “Just dropped by for that, but I really need to go now.”

Lisa wasn’t ready when Jennie stands on her tiptoes, leans forward, and kisses her on the cheek. 

The star doesn’t wait for the tall girl to process what just happened and turns around for the door. Forgetting something, she comes to a stop halfway. Jennie spins herself once again to approach a stunned Lisa holding her cheek like she’s just received the punch of her life.

Lisa uses her available hand, one that isn’t rubbing her cheek unconsciously, to get a hold of the piece of paper that Jennie hands her. “What’s the money for? You didn’t buy anything.”

Jennie is one step from the door, stops and turns around for the third time. “Look at it, Lisa.”

Lisa unfolds the paper. _10 digits_. “Your number?”

“Nope. My name! Of course, doofus.” Jennie snickers. “I really, really need to go now. Bye, Li, I’ll miss you!”

“Are you sure you don’t want a scoop to-go?” The tall girl blinks and the star is out the door. 

The hanging door bells stop ringing.

_I’ll miss you too._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i will *try* to not have such a long gap between the updates but no promises :( thank you to everyone that commented on the former chapter and left a kudos, i really appreciate it! i'm always open to more tips and suggestions!


	3. would you like to be more than a fan?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lisa reminds herself that her Jennie isn’t really hers.

Lisa waits for _their time_ to text Jennie.

_Lisa; 1:02 AM_

_‘Hi’_

Lisa’s body is overrun with anticipation as she sets her phone screen side down. The phone buzzes less than a minute later.

_Jennie; 1:02 AM_

_‘who’s this’_

_‘why are you texting my husband’_

Lisa blinks once, then twice. 

_Lisa; 1:03 AM_

_‘I’m sorry, what?’_

The phone continues to buzz.

_Jennie; 1:03 AM_

_‘you must be the reason he’s been sneaking out late all these nights’_

_‘i can’t believe this’_

_‘what have i done to deserve this’_

It’s more than an hour past midnight, her happy pill is gone, and Lisa still hasn’t caught on to the joke. She rubs her temples. 

_Lisa; 1:04 AM_

_‘There’s been a misunderstanding. I just got the wrong number. My apologies!!!’_

The tall girl almost blocks the number when another notification pops up.

_Jennie; 1:04 AM_

_‘hehe doofus’_

_‘it’s me’_

_‘the love of ur life helloooo’_

Lisa chuckles and palms her face. 

_Lisa; 1:05 AM_

_‘?’_

That should tick her off.

_Jennie; 1:05 AM_

_‘jennie’_

_‘your best customer’_

_‘still doesn’t ring a bell??’_

_‘im hurt’_

_‘:(‘_

Lisa sighs and allows herself to say _cute_ out loud. No one was around anyway.

_Lisa; 1:06 AM_

_‘very funny, jen’_

_‘thought you were a singer, dancer, and performer not a comedian’_

_Jennie; 1:06 AM_

_‘cut me some slack i haven’t been booked as a variety show guest in a while’_

_‘thought you wouldn’t text’_

Lisa feels a pang and wishes Jennie didn’t have to say that. 

_Lisa; 1:07 AM_

_‘i didn’t want to be a bother’_

_Jennie; 1:08 AM_

_‘don’t say that’_

_‘you are never a bother’_

Lisa wants to respond, but doesn’t know how.

_Jennie; 1:09 AM_

_‘facetime?’_

They talk about Jennie’s day. Jennie tells Lisa of the few kinds of Indonesian food she managed to get her hands on, and how she planned to go to a nearby market to try more only for her managers to reject the idea. She tells Lisa that the decision was for the best and “I’d rather be talking to you, and no food out there will be able to match your milk ice cream anyway.” 

She tells Lisa of the million stuffed hats she was forced to wear. The Thai girl adores the way Jennie talks about her fans, the warmth transcending the screen. The star loves her supporters _so much_ that Lisa shivers at the thought of just how much more Jennie would love a true partner of her own. (Lisa imagines herself as _that_ person but brushes it off quickly). Lisa listens. Thousands of people have _heard_ Jennie speaking, but Lisa still doesn’t think enough people _listen_ to Jennie. 

The screen doesn’t satisfy their longing for each other, but it was better than nothing.

Lisa can feel the second Jennie falls asleep. One yawn turns into two, then three. The petite body relaxes completely against the bed, and somehow leaves the phone angled to which Lisa can see her sleep. 

The sight of the sleeping beauty makes Lisa’s stomach flutter. “This is sort of scary. This feeling. You. Us.” She whispers. “Sleep well.”

Lisa counts down the days. She does so while staring at the untouched tub of milk ice cream, begging the lifeless concoction to do something that would assure her that this whole affair is real.

Jennie continues to sleep unaware of Lisa’s crisis.

Lisa hums a quieter lullaby and doesn’t end the call.

* * *

Jennie wakes up and apologizes profusely to Lisa. She even covers her mouth, afraid of Lisa hating her morning breath. Lisa points out that _they're not really together_ and maps out the miles separating them. Jennie, dumbfounded, throws a funny, little fit among the pillows. The call ends when Jennie realizes she woke up 30 minutes late and rushes to the shower (she almost takes the phone with her).

This whole _thing,_ whatever it was, was new to Lisa. She’s had her fair share of relationships before, but they just don’t compare. Their situation was complicated and Lisa asks herself if she would have it any other way.

She wouldn’t.

* * *

Some days are busier than others and Jennie misses a couple of nights. Jennie doesn’t fall short with apologizing and promises to make it up to Lisa, to which the taller one can only nod and repeat “it’s okay.” Lisa doesn’t know if she’s trying to convince Jennie or herself.

For the nights Jennie does miss, Lisa persuades herself that everything is alright. She survives the empty shift, pushing through with her shopkeeping duties with utmost diligence. From an outside view the tall girl seems successful but what can’t be seen is how her mind screams the same name over and over again.

Lisa constantly reminds herself that _her_ _Jennie_ is _the_ Jennie Kim. _Her Jennie_ is South Korea’s best female performer. _Her Jennie_ has millions of fans keeping an eye on her. _Her Jennie_ has a life much, much bigger than ice cream and video calls.

Lisa reminds herself that _her Jennie_ isn’t really _hers._

* * *

The star doesn’t give Lisa a fair chance to put up a wall. She isn’t always there, but she makes sure to be more present than absent, much to Lisa’s bittersweet delight. Some are calls lasting until dusk while some don’t go past a simple “have you eaten?” or “just woke up.”

Both of them know _anything_ is enough.

* * *

She’s too embarrassed to tell Jennie, but Lisa has been spending more and more time watching videos of the star on YouTube. 

She marvels at the way Jennie carries herself on stage. The vocals. The confidence. The fashion statements. The oozing appeal. She knows why Jennie is loved by so many.

(None of them are competition though.)

Her finger clicks on choreography videos more than others and Lisa, having a dance background herself, memorizes most of the steps in a brief span of time.

Lisa comes across this one video of Jennie performing a lyrical dance, sharing the floor with a man. Space apparently wasn’t a part of the dance’s concept and Lisa loses count of the touches. She stops watching after 23 seconds.

Lisa thought watching the videos would compensate for the deprivation but it only makes her miss the short girl even more. 

* * *

Jennie is dominated by jitters.

The star has tried every breathing and stretching exercise she does before every stage but her heart persists unprepared, mimicking the beats of a marching band. She has had plenty of comeback experience under her belt but this feels like the most important one.

The star’s grand arrival is without a red carpet. One hand carries a box of chicken while the other holds a liter of cola (she considered wine but was too afraid she’d do something _stupid_ , as if she already wasn’t doing _this)_ to chase down the grease. She’s not even stuffed yet but she is already breathless.

God, her agency would totally chastise her if they knew about this _foolishness_. 

It’s 1:16 AM. Lisa knows Jennie came home today, and has been watching the door carefully since her shift started. She just wants to hear the hanging door bells ring again.

The reunion is shy. The moment the short girl enters the door, their eyes meet. They share smiles, small and private.

Jennie wants to take initiative and take a step forward, just one step, but her feet stay glued just right in front of the door. 

Lisa can’t take it anymore. She stands up from sitting behind the counter and reaches for the girl she has missed so, so much.

Lisa pulls away after God knows how long (she really didn’t want to), only because they both hear the box and soda bottle drop with a thud.

“That’s your fault!” Jennie is quick to pin the blame.

Lisa missed the short girl’s quirks. “How is it my fault?”

“You hugged me too tightly and I wanted to hug back and so I had to free both of my hands up and I forgot I brought food because you hugged me.” Jennie is without breath by the end of it. "And you. Just you. Your fault."

Lisa almost, almost shuts the girl up. Jennie crouches down to pick up the food before the tall girl even gets to lean in.

Jennie hands the dropped bottle to the taller one. “Yeah, I don’t think we should open this anytime soon.”

* * *

_Negen mianhajiman, I’m not sorry._

“Fuck.” Lisa shuffles in her seat while trying to turn off the music as quickly as possible.

“Is that… Was that… Solo? My song?” Jennie sets down the bone and bursts out laughing.

“No! I mean, yes. I didn’t mean to play it!” Lisa’s face is red and she’s blurting out the first excuse that comes to her head. “I was just trying to check what time it was and I forgot…”

The tall girl is too embarrassed to continue.

Jennie cuts the pause short. “Well go on. Forgot what?”

“I forgot I was watching your video and that I never really closed it.” Lisa bows her head as Jennie continues to make her sides hurt with laughter. 

“I’m not supposed to have favorites but if it’ll make you feel better, I want you to know that you are my favorite fan.” The star pinches the red cheeks of the ashamed girl. “Don’t tell the others that though. That’s a secret between you and me.”

Lisa is rendered into silence even more now, overcome with a _different_ kind of tension this time around.

Jennie takes a step closer into Lisa’s space. “Would you like to be more than a fan?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i don't know how to feel about this one uhm haha i'll try to be better for the next ones!!


	4. are you going to let me talk now?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was Lisa’s turn to take a step closer into the other’s space. “What am I to you?”

Lisa did not feel like backing down this time. “Is that all I am to you?”

Jennie is taken aback.

“N-no. Of course, of course not.” The star stutters.

It was Lisa’s turn to take a step closer into the other’s space. “What am I to you?”

“You are...” Jennie stops to think. “Someone important to me. Someone I like spending time with. I can only hope that you like being with me half as much as I like being with you.”

The Thai girl’s expression softens. “You have no idea.”

Lisa reaches for Jennie’s delicate hands, cradling it between hers.

* * *

“So, I take it you’ve seen my stage with Lee Taeyong.” Jennie knows exactly what she’s doing. “I want to hear your thoughts.”

“Yeah, I have.” Lisa pauses for a while. “Wait. No, I actually haven’t.”

The star slightly creases her eyebrows. “Well, which is it?”

“It’s just… I wouldn’t necessarily consider 23 seconds as watching.” The tall girl’s last word is accompanied by air quotes.

Jennie _understands_ and lets out a snicker. “You were jealous?” 

Lisa’s only response is a pout with matching childish stomps. 

“But that choreo was so nice…” A lightbulb goes off in the performer’s mind. “Wait. You dance, right? You should dance with me.”

Lisa’s face tilts upward to face Jennie in record time. “How did you know?”

The star blushes when she realizes she revealed more than she intended to. “It was a long, long time away from you and… let’s just say you weren’t the only one doing some stalking in between.” 

“It’s not even stalking!” Lisa sits upright to defend herself first. “And, what? Where?”

“Instagram. Your feed is very pretty by the way. I wanted to follow you but my company restricts my followings to zero.”

“Oh.”

Jennie cringes at Lisa’s blank reaction. “Sorry if I didn’t ask for your permission.”

* * *

For the tour, Jennie has a couple of minutes to spare throughout the daytime. She’s getting homesick, desperately missing one particular person from home. A call would be nice but it would take up time that she didn’t really have, time that Lisa deserved. Jennie opens her phone and Instagram is the first app that her eye catches.

_Lalisa Manoban_ , a name etched in the mind and heart of the star, told during past conversations, is typed into the search bar. 

A photography major with dancing gigs on the side. Owner of two cats back in Thailand.

Definitely, completely, totally endearing.

Jennie realized that _anything_ Lisa is, says, or does will always be endearing to her.

“Jen! You ready? Fansign starts in exactly 2 minutes!” The manager yells and Jennie snaps out of her trance.

* * *

“A little bit more to the right… There.” Both of them set down the table and let go of the opposing sides they’ve been gripping.

Jennie looks around with her hands set on her waist with pride. “That should be enough space.”

"So..." Lisa wraps her arms around Jennie’s waist and sets her head upon the star’s smooth shoulder. “This is how the choreo starts, right?”

The star’s heart skips a beat as she feels the taller girl’s body press into hers. She turns her head to face the girl and Lisa’s plump lips graze Jennie’s cheeks.

They get into a staring contest that lasts for seconds, minutes, centuries, eons.

The dancer lets the star take the lead, her slender body following every hushed command that the dainty personality utters. 

They don’t even notice that they never started the song, the only music they’re dancing to being the soft whisper of their joint breathing. 

* * *

It is a couple of hours after a Saturday midnight when Jennie barges in _wasted_. 

The hanging bells ring rapidly and Lisa rushes to the stumbling star. The shorter one does the same, but trips over her long, sky blue dress in the process. 

Lisa catches her before the floor does. Jennie is a giggling mess.

“The manager knows now.” The fazed girl says in between titters.

Lisa is concerned. “Knows about what?” 

“Us. She told us to be careful. Shhh.” Jennie presses her right index finger against her pouty lips and repeats the sound.

Lisa almost removes the finger to occupy the star’s lips with hers. She doesn’t.

* * *

“Sit down first. Christ. Here, drink water.” Lisa guides the rim of the glass until it touches Jennie’s lips. 

Jennie swallows and resumes the incessant giggling.

Lisa doesn’t really know how any of this works. She can’t quite remember the last time she’s tried to truly take care of somebody. If it was any other friend of hers, she’d throw a bottle of water, laugh a bit, and call it a day. The tall girl is overwhelmed with worry and throws a million questions at the woozy latter. 

“Wedding. I came from Joon Hyung’s wedding.” 

Weddings. Lisa tries to rack up everything she knows about weddings. She doesn’t end up with much considering she’s only been to one, and that was when she was a flower girl at the age of 8. She understands that, of course, there would be alcohol. 

But why on earth would someone need to get _this_ drunk at a wedding?

“Was he… your ex?” Lisa mutters without thinking. 

Jennie’s laughter doubles and she holds onto the table to avoid falling over. “What? Li, no. He’s a friend.”

Lisa’s exhale ends up sounding louder than intended. 

“I just drank one too many. Or five too many. Who knows?” Jennie’s face drops when a wave of consciousness hits her. “Shit, do you not like people that drink?”

The roles reverse and Lisa chuckles. “No. You’re perfectly fine, Jen.”

“So you still love me even when I’m a mess?” 

Lisa is amused but is also aware of the responsibility of being the sober one between them. She assumes that Jennie won’t even remember any of this in the morning. 

She thinks a change of topic would be for the best. “You could’ve gone straight home, Jen. Why’d you come here?” 

“Because I wanted to see you. Duh?”

Lisa doesn’t know how to calm down the million butterflies flapping inside of her. “It’s just that rest would’ve been so much better for you and--”

Jennie interrupts the Thai’s reasoning. “Did you not want to see me?”

“What? Jen-”

Rejection and alcohol do not mix together well for the short girl. She breaks out into a monologue without letting the taller one finish. “This whole thing is one-sided, isn’t it? God, this is so embarrassing. I should’ve known. I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to.” 

“No, stop, Jen. Stop it.” Lisa just wants a chance to explain herself. 

Jennie doesn’t give Lisa what she wants. “I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. Isn’t it obvious that I like you? I really do. But it was foolish of me to think you’d return the same feeling. I’m dumb. I’m stupid. I’ll go now.” 

Jennie tries to stand up but Lisa stops her. Jennie expects a tirade from the Thai girl. 

Instead, Lisa leans in, hands on Jennie’s thighs, and kisses her. 

Lisa starts the kiss with a shy touch of lips. When Jennie doesn’t pull away, confidence takes over Lisa. The younger woman becomes more assertive. She nibbles Jennie’s bottom lip, and soothes it with a swipe of her tongue. The star finally responds, shyly grabbing Lisa’s shirt to pull her closer. Lisa jerks slightly out of surprise, attempting to readjust as Jennie positions herself closer to the taller girl’s lap. Both of them hear glass shattering as the water from earlier is knocked over but neither care enough to break away. Lisa can always mop it up later. 

“Are you going to let me talk now?” Lisa murmurs against Jennie’s mouth.

All the alcohol and its effects are flushed out of Jennie’s system. Her head stops buzzing. She stares at Lisa with glassy eyes. She blinks. She holds onto Lisa’s shoulders, moves her body upward, and settles herself on Lisa’s lap. Jennie aligns her knees with the sides of Lisa's waist.

She snuggles her head against the crook of Lisa’s neck. “You may start your speech now.”

“You make me happy, Jen. So, so, so happy. I like you. I want you around. Always.” Lisa mumbles.

“Then I will be around. Always.” Jennie mumbles back.

* * *

“Wait, the blinds are shut, right?” 

“Yeah. Don’t worry.” Lisa resumes nipping at Jennie’s neck, leading back to Jennie’s mouth. 

Jennie closes her eyes and finds she doesn’t care about the scolding it may earn her when she opens her mouth above Lisa’s and Lisa takes the invitation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhhh sorry this one took so long!! i've been busy :(
> 
> and as always, thank you guys so much for the comments! they mean the world to me


	5. i'm still here with you, aren't i?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lisa slows down more often than not whenever Jennie’s left hand reached for Lisa’s right. The driver certainly doesn’t mind. She figures that her hand would rest better on Jennie’s instead of the shift stick.

It is 7 AM. 

“Lucas will be here in about 30 minutes to take over. I’ll drive you home.” Lisa states with conviction. 

“Li, I promise I’m sober now.”

“No, I’m not taking any risks, okay?” Lisa doesn’t allow a fight and the star just nods. 

It’s not cold outside but Lisa offers her long coat to Jennie. The taller one adjusts the hood over the star’s head to make sure she won’t be recognizable the moment they walk out the door.

Jennie doesn't live very far away. A smooth drive would take less than 15 minutes. But Lisa slows down more often than not whenever Jennie’s left hand reaches for Lisa’s right. The driver certainly doesn’t mind. She figures that her hand would rest better on Jennie’s instead of the shift stick.

The star yawns more than once as she explains how she crashed at the store hours earlier. She recounts how she had to cry in front of the manager so she’d be allowed to go to Lisa. “She’s my manager and all, but she’s more like a big sister to me. She loves me. But she still warned us to be very careful. I promised her we will be. We will be, right?” 

Jennie gets her answer when she feels her hand being squeezed gently. 

* * *

Lisa unintentionally gawks when they pull up to a driveway, with the automatic gate closing behind them. Jennie’s finger is almost bitten off as she runs her index jokingly through the large gap of shock between Lisa’s lips. 

“Welcome home!” Jennie teases. 

Lisa laughs the remark off and gets out of the car. She tries to rush so she could open the star’s door but Jennie is too quick. 

Lisa finds the situation rather awkward and rubs her arm. She hesitates for a second. “I guess I’ll go now. I’ll let you catch up on sleep.” 

“Why are you acting like we didn’t just make out [for] hours earlier?” Jennie mopes and reaches for one of Lisa’s hands to throw it around in between hers like a game of catch. “It’s Sunday and my schedule is completely clear. I know you don’t have classes today either. I don’t want to say goodbye just yet.”

Lisa surrenders but is interrupted by a brooding Jennie again. “Or... if you have other plans I don’t know of, then you can go ahead. I don’t want to intrude.” Jennie sounds genuinely sad as she turns her back and fiddles with her fingers. The star peels off the coat that Lisa lent her to try and give it back.

“I’d love to spend the day with you.” Lisa steps forward and wraps her hand around Jennie’s waist. She plants her lips on the shorter girl’s now bare shoulder. “So… you want me to go inside?”

Jennie swiftly turns around, cupping the taller one’s face. “No, I want you to stay out here so we can stare at birds instead.” 

Lisa rolls her eyes and pouts. Jennie pecks the plump, sulking lips without warning.

Jennie becomes aware of what she just did and looks around. “Maybe I shouldn’t have done that. Oops. The fences are high enough anyway.”

Lisa chuckles and shakes her head before she returns the favor.

“Come on.” The star intertwines their hands and they approach the entrance of the house. “I’ve been taking up _your_ space all these nights. Now I’ll let you take over mine.”

* * *

The Thai girl walks in marveling as Jennie makes a head-start for the kitchen. The first thing that catches her eye is the glass shelf filled with the many, many awards arranged. It would take more than two hands to be able to count the relics by finger. She thinks about how Jennie is only two years older and has already achieved such an extraordinary amount of accolades while she has gone through countless course transfers, with the only constant being her graveyard shift at the shop.

Lisa sits at the dining table as Jennie prepares coffee. “This is going to sound super dumb but… wow. I thought idols like you lived in dorms, or condos, or whatever they say on the internet.”

“You’re not wrong. I used to live in a dorm.” Jennie walks to the table as she stirs the milk in. “But, you know, I started at the age of 15. 10 years is pretty long. I’ve earned the right to live in a place like this.”

Lisa immediately sips out of the mug handed to her. “This is good. This is so good.”

Jennie laughs at the compliment. “It’s the love potion I mixed in there.”

“Very corny, Jen, even for you.” Lisa tastes the love.

* * *

Jennie is the sleepy type of hungover. 

After their quick caffeine session, Jennie showers and puts on her favorite pair of sunflower-print pajamas. 

Lisa follows shortly after and takes a shower, with Jennie preparing all the essentials.

The Thai girl pops out of the shower with a towel wrapped around her body and sees the folded clothes prepared for her. An oversized, black Celine shirt and a pajama bottom printed with Cookie Monster faces. There is a note stuck to the top of the pile.

_Was tempted to join you ;) also wondered what you’d do if i gave you no clothes at all. ;)) jk. Hope these are ok?_

Lisa giggles for quite some time before putting on the clothes. A sleeping Jennie greets her as she opens the door to the room. The tall girl feels bad because only Jennie’s upper half was lying on the bed, feet facing the door, signaling that the star was waiting for her to finish. 

Lisa can’t quite tell if she took long or Jennie is human after all.

With closed eyes, Jennie shifts to set her legs on the bed, which Lisa takes as a chance to cover the shorter one’s lower body with the blanket.

Not wanting to disturb even more, Lisa tries to exit the room. The gentle turn of the knob ends up louder than intended and Jennie wakes up. “Li?” the star says with a yawn. 

Lisa turns around and walks back to sit on the edge of the bed. “You were sleeping and I didn’t want to disrupt.”

“Cuddle please.” Jennie is sleepy but doesn’t forget to emphasize the request by holding the ending E. 

Lisa does not know how to say no to Jennie’s pleading eyes and gentle voice. She does not know how to say noto Jennie in general. It's not like she wanted to say no anyway.

* * *

Lisa wakes up with her face buried in Jennie’s hair. She doesn’t want to, but she cuts the spooning short as she reaches for her phone on the bedside counter. 

10 PM.

Lisa shifts carefully to take her other arm from under Jennie and stands up. She hesitates for a while but decides to halt the star’s deep sleep. They’ve been sleeping all day and she figures that a skipped meal is the last thing that a woman of Jennie’s busy status needs. Lisa shakes the sleeping beauty’s shoulder. “Jen, wake up. You need to eat.”

Jennie budges after a couple of seconds, wiping her eyes with the heel of her hands. “What time is it?”

“10 PM. You haven’t eaten anything all day.” Lisa declares matter-of-factly. 

Jennie surrenders to more hours of sleep serenading her. “I’m not hungry though.” 

“Are you sure? That’s not healthy.” 

Jennie snickers with eyes still shut. “Ice cream way past midnight isn’t healthy either.” 

Lisa hates that she's cornered. She shakes her head and concedes.

“Don’t worry about me. I’ve skipped more meals than I could ever count and I’m still here with you, aren’t I?” Jennie’s voice perks up with worry when something clicks. “You… you haven’t eaten either. I should go and prepare something.”

Lisa sets her hands on the smaller’s shoulders to stop her from sitting up. “You don’t have to do that. I’ll be fine.”

“Are you sure?” Jennie crashes her head on the pillow with guilt. “I’m so sorry. I’m just really, really tired. Hangovers are a bitch and I’m never drinking again.”

“So you regret what happened after you drank?”

Jennie registers what the Thai is implying and swats it off. “I never, and will never, regret anything with you.”

Lisa smiles warmly. She checks her phone again and considers skipping her shift.

Jennie reads her mind. “You have to go?”

“Yeah.” Lisa can only sigh. “You don’t have to go to the shop later, okay? I want you to catch up on sleep.”

“Yes, ma’am.” Jennie whispers with pursed lips. “Text me when you get there so I know you’re safe.”

Lisa leans down to connect their lips. The goodbye kiss is sweet and unhurried, but still too short. They want this to last longer, forever, but they know it’s not possible. Both of them continue to wish in silence anyway.

* * *

Lisa walks into the shop and is greeted with a surprise. A familiar male figure stands by the counter but it isn’t Lucas.

“Uncle? What are you doing here?”

The older man uses the counter as a guide to slowly stand up. “We’ve got something to discuss, Lalisa.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here you go. barely proofread. :( really really sorry for the wait :(


End file.
